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(no subject) [Oct. 4th, 2006|06:14 am]

[Current Location |ottawa]
[Current Mood |sleepyhalf-awake]

Inconsiderate people who live in large all glass houses throwing stones, with notes attached that say "Please be considerate" in a snarky tones that doesn't just implie sarcasm, but leaves your hands sticky with it when you unpeel that note from the rock, to read it.

Although, there might not really be a rock and note, or glass house, but just a white board with a nasty message, in the foyer of my apartment building.

But the people who wrote it are inconsiderate, so that's true. And the note was nasty and sarcastic, so that's also true.

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... [Sep. 16th, 2006|11:29 am]

Bus drivers.

Just bus drivers, unto themselves.

And cabbies.
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Apartment building call boards exist for a reason. [Sep. 11th, 2006|08:14 pm]

[Current Mood |soresore]

On August 29 I arranged to have Rogers come in and install home phone and internet so that I could take advantage of my employee discount. Both were scheduled for today, between 11 and 2. Internet came in. No problems. Modem connected, I have internet! Just needed to tweak one thing (though I may have problems when I actually cancel Sympatico). Around 2:15 I realize the the window of time for the phone guy to come has come and gone. I phone.

The response?
He went but didn't have your buzzer number so he left.
I asked, "He had my last name, right?"
"So he could have looked me up on the call board?"

That guy on the phone passed me through to someone else because I'd have to set up a new appointment. The second guy empathized with me. I asked, "Do you really think he came or was it an excuse?" Of course he couldn't answer that but he did agree that it was strange.

I already have a phone, so it's no big deal, and I wasn't at home waiting for him specifically, but to say that you don't have the buzzer code- or to leave - when you have the last name is STUPID. He knows how to use a call board, doesn't he?
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(no subject) [Sep. 11th, 2006|07:58 am]

[Current Location |ottawa]
[Current Mood |rushedrushed]
[Current Music |Ramones - I Wanna Be Sedated]

Dear Ottawa City Council,

While I think it's great that you want to do something about the over abundance of perfumes in public spaces (like City Hall and public transit), what's with having deodorant on the list?

I mean, if someone can smell my deodorant, all I have to say is "get your nose out of my armpit."

We need deodorant to live! Given the choice between smelling chemical pollutants and gross day old body odour, I'm going with the chemical pollutants. Not allowing deodorant in public places is tantamount to nasal-icide (the killing of the olfactory sense.)

It might not be so bad in the winter, but consider the +45C weather we had this summer. Honestly, would you like to go through that again, only this time without deodorant?

I thought not.


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An Open Letter to the Danish PM Expressing My Anger at the Inavailability of Umbrellas [Sep. 6th, 2006|07:14 am]

[Current Mood |recumbentsnark-iopterxy]
[Current Music |Sufjan Stevens - All the Trees of the Field Will Clap...]

Dear Anders F(j)ogh Rasmussen (or should I call you Andy?):

I love your country more than my flesh and blood. Especially more than my blood, about which I'm so indifferent I almost considered donating it (I didn't actually, but never mind). I love your architecture, your literary and artistic culture, your pickled herring, your peasant bread, your close proximity to Norway, and the beer that's so strong I can drink only one (on an empty stomach) and still feel it, like I'm feeling it right now. Hell, I even love your silly language. But I have a bone of contention to pick with you, so I hope you're in a picky kind of mood.

Today is the sixth of September; it's rainy season in Copenhagen. In fact, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe rainy season in Copenhagen began last September sixth, and has yet to show any sign of remitting. I've noticed that your people have an appreciation for high couture, and hesitate to wear raincoats/macs/anoraks/regnfrakker or whatever you call them. You know, the butt-ugly rubbery garments that protect against the elements. This leaves them with umbrellas as their only option, unless they want to soak their 2000-kroner-cashmere-blend-peacoats. (They don't.)

I spent about an hour today on an epic quest for a simple umbrella at a rather exhaustive shopping centre. There are fashion outlets out the yizz-yazz, hawking the kind of get-up nobody wants to get wet. But did any sell umbrellas? No. Not a single one. And don't you dare try telling me they're sold out. A country like Denmark needs a constant flow of umbrellas to satisfy its people's exorbitant umbrella demands. I looked at H&M, an internationally-reputed clothing/accessory retailer, to no avail. I looked at a bunch of other stores that anywhere else in the world (i.e., Vancouver, the other rainy city) would have the presence of mind to sell umbrellas. Fuck, I even looked at a kiosk. They sell more candy than you can imagine, tabloids that nobody with any self-respect would even glance at, hookahs, plush spiders, and an impressive variety of other questionable baubles. But not an umbrella in sight.

Finally I found one, so perhaps this entire angry letter is moot, but I felt like it needed to be said anyway. Where did I find it, though? At a bloody iron workshop, betwixt wrought-iron light-fixtures, hardcore frying pans, rebar, and other assorted implements of torture and general unpleasantness. Needless to say, Anders Fogh Rasmussen, that after the end of my search, the iron was not the only thing that was wrought. Now, all because you inisit on stashing your umbrellas in all the most unthinkable places and sending me on a rat-race to go find one, my laundry's been sitting in the washer for about forty-five minutes. If I am to remain in my landlady's good graces, both loads of laundry must be completed before I leave for a dinner party tonight. Now I'll be late. And this didn't have to be.

I hope this letter served as a word for the wise, and I hope I can assume correctly that you're wise, Anders Fogh Rasmussen. From now on, I hope to see umbrellas sold at every street corner. Why don't you convert some of the innumerable hot-dog stands dowtown to umbrella stands? There's a suggestion. I don't care how you do it, as long as you do it. Otherwise I'm taking my business to the country with the world's only uglier language; the Netherlands.

Thank you for your consideration,

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People Downstairs [Sep. 6th, 2006|07:09 am]

[Current Location |Ottawa]
[Current Mood |aggravatedaggravated]

Cars with car alarms should not be allowed to park underneath the windos of people who are still sleeping past 6 AM.

Every morning, at 5:45 I hear the incessant "beep beep!" Of their car alarm. I then hear them load thier devil spawn in the car, then I hear the roar of the motor. I hear their onversation - yes, you *should* get that looked at - until finally, a half hour after this has started, they pull out of the driveway.

I swear they only wait until they hear my alarm go off.

Is it not bad enough that their devil spawned banshees wake me up at 6 AM on Saturdays? As they scream and run around like hell itself is trying to devour them. Now I have to wake up even earlier on weekdays, so they get the joy of knowing if they're up, someone else is up too?

Tonight, I play Gwar. Loud. And late.

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(no subject) [Sep. 5th, 2006|08:02 pm]

[Current Location |Ottawa, ON Canada]

Welcome to snarky and mean! The place to vent, bitch, whine, moan, snark, rant, rave, or any other verb that you can think of to discuss exactly how you feel. Wondering why 'common sense' isn't that common? Need to vent about what a pisser of a day you had? Want to find out exactly what you should have said to the person who cut in line in front of you today? Here's the place to go!

But first, a little poll. Swearing - good? evil? A necessary evil? An unnecessary evil that we all enjoy?

How PG should this community be?

*&%$#$* yeah! You can't rant without swearing!
Some is good, but no overkill!
Moderate is the key
Ow! My virgin ears!
Queries in comments

Next poll - To post in English or to not post in English, that is the question. Should this community be open to rants in other languages?

Your mod,

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